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When Patti and her potty-mouthed friend talk baseball, you'll know this is not a baseball podcast for lightweights. This is the real deal, from real fans. Because diamonds are a strong woman's best friend, and there's no crying in baseball.

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#39 - Jumbotron Edition (Jul 10th, 2018)

Pottymouth decamps to NYC (WTF?) yet Patti manages to have her Greatest. Baseball. Weekend. Ever. There were dingers and anthems and jumbotron appearances galore. Pottymouth makes an All-Star case for Yadier Molina, who now even Torey Lovullo agrees is NOT a mofo.

Mark Reynolds and Juan Soto are not the heroes the Nationals had in mind, but they are the heroes they needed. Patti has a brush with glory as the Women’s Baseball World Cup trophy and two members of Team USA visit Nats Park. And th...

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#38 - Naked Players and Shirts On Fire (Jul 3rd, 2018)

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome special guest Alfredo Alvarez, of Con Las Bases Llenas, for a Red Sox / Yankees Series smackdown, er, discussion. Alfredo’s story of becoming a Yankees fan as a child in Cuba almost convinces Patti to join the Evil Empire, but her aggressively ugly Orioles shirt (and her aggressively Red Soxy Pottymouth) keep her grounded.

We celebrate Joey Votto’s strike zone in honor of Canada Day, and revisit crime and punishment in the MLB in the form of Luke Heimlich and ...

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#37 - Beware Mascots Wielding Wieners (Jun 26th, 2018)

Yadier Molina has legs, but does he have knees? The wiener report includes Hunter Strickland, the Phillie Phanatic and that guy on the Metro with the Machado jersey. The non-waiver trade deadline may cost Patti some boyfriends, but she makes sure you know what it means. Pottymouth has choice words about Roberto Osuna. All this plus participation medals, fake moustaches and a pitcher named Disco.

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and mo...

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#36 - Childish Bambino is SO Our Guy (Jun 19th, 2018)

Pottymouth laments the glory that is her Mariners (formerly Rays) boyfriend, Denard Span because his best work is against her Red Sox. What’s a girl to do? We jump on the Mariners bandwagon that suddenly looks playoff-bound. Tip of the cap to Trea Turner for his 100th stolen base and Patti tells a back with a bang from the DL story, about Rhys Hoskins of the Phillies. Someone, please get Pottymouth a Yuli Gurriel gnome with troll hair.

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#35 - Im-Max-ulate Innings (Jun 12th, 2018)

The race is on for the first player to a 20-20 season.  Will it be Mike Trout? Mookie Betts? Tim Anderson? Andrew Benintendi?

Patti welcomes Jays BF Aledmys Diaz back from the DL, and DBacks BF Paul Goldschmidt back from his slump. Pottymouth brings the adorable with little brothers of Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa drafted by the StrosBros.

Surprisingly, the best play uniting Baseball and Beer this week is NOT the woman chugging her beer full of foul ball. But it could be.

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#34 - Biting At The Chompers (Jun 5th, 2018)

Mookie Betts is back on the DL but never fear, Andrew Benintendi is here! The Detroit Tigers’ season, however, may depend on fowl balls as they pin their hopes on a Rally Goose.

This week’s boyfriend updates include Francisco Lindor, Scooter Gennett, and Max Scherzer, but finding replacement boyfriends is really, really hard. We have a little early Father's’ Day celebration for Dereck Rodriguez (son of Pudge), Kody Clemens (son of Roger), Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. (son of Vlad, Sr.), and Luke F...

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#33 – Scooter, Scooter, Everywhere (May 29th, 2018)

Patti and the Pottymouth discuss the healing powers of pee and successfully predict the epic-ness of the Trevor Bauer / Gerrit Cole duel. Ohtani, Trout, yada yada but have you seen this guy Scooter Gennett? Rookies hit it out of so many parks in debuts this week (Is it too early to order our Soto jerseys?)

There’s some talk therapy to help Pottymouth through her extreme boyfriend flux (Oh, Hanley.). Those crazy Rays may be on to something with their closers as “openers.” Patti gets to say, “J...

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#32 - Yankee Love and Jeter Hate (May 22nd, 2018)

We were touched to see the compassionate reactions from local sports teams after the tragic shooting at Sante Fe High in Texas. Sports help us come together as a community and heal.

Robinson Cano gets an 80-game suspension for use of a PED masking agent. He says it was accidental but was it, really?

Astros pitching tops the charts for ERAs but Cory Kluber and Max Scherzer have much to celebrate, too.

Finally, Pottymouth talks nice about the Yankees (to everyone's amazement) but Patti brings h...

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#31 - Pumped-up Pitchers and Pretty Pretty Shoes (May 15th, 2018)

Special Mother's Day shout-out to all the baseball and softball mothers out there! Thanks for all you do!

This week, updates on Trevor Bauer, Wilson Ramos, Francisco Lindor, Sean Rodriguez, and Scooter Gennett. The Mets make a little league error and the humidor at Chase Field dampens even the Diamondback's Paul Goldschmidt.

Did you know that April is the first month in MLB history to record More strikeouts than hits? Patti tells us all about it and Pottymouth has a thing or two to say.

All t...

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#30 - Bryce Harper Has Been Freed! (May 8th, 2018)

MLB outlaws the use of "any foreign substance" by pitchers but Patti reports on Trevor Bauer's call to allow pine tar and other substances. Listen to find out why!

The Seattle Mariners leave Patti & Pottymouth scratching their heads over their announcement that Ichiro Suzuki is not retiring, but won't be playing. Could it all be part of a long-term plan?

NCIB is all over the internets! Connect with us!

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Twitter: @NCIBPodcast

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#29 – Blame It On The Porn Bots (May 1st, 2018)

What happens when Pottymouth's father learns she curses for the very first time? Disappointment and confusion, perhaps, but maybe moms can curse vicariously.

Player highlights: Wilson Ramos homers again, Tommy Pham hits himself in the head with a bat and a "contraption", and Bryce Harper can't get a pitch.

 

All that and questions about a shorter MLB season in this week's episode!

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryi...

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#28 - We Like Fast Boyfriends (Apr 24th, 2018)

This week we review the Twins-Indians series in Puerto Rico, where hometown stars José Berríos, Francisco Lindor, and Eddie Rosario all shone on the island still recovering from Hurricane Maria, along with a power outage that nearly shut down the series.

Patti introduces a new stat! SPRINT SPEED. You'll have to listen to find out what that means and who has more boyfriends in the top ten.

Bryan Price is out at the Reds. Could John Farrell step in? What about Dusty Baker?

All that and a Minor ...

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#27 – Don't Call My Boyfriend A Mofo. Twice. (Apr 17th, 2018)

Jackie Robinson Day celebration! Wait, is that...Wahoo? With the #42? Seriously, wft?

Pottymouth has a word or two for Torey Lovullo after he said some unkind things about her Cardinals boyfriend Yadier Molina. Not okay, Torey!

MLB at the UFC! Play-by-play for the Rockies-Padres and Red Sox-Yankees brawls and the "three stages of the brawl".

Big shout out to MLB for their Trailblazer Series, bringing 100 baseball-playing girls ages 11 to 13 to California for the MLB Youth Academy! 

Patti take...

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#26 – Premature Ejection (Apr 9th, 2018)

Chuck Nazty signs for 6 more years at $108-$116 million (the oldest player to get over $100 mil at 32). Could it be the Altuve effect? And what are the implications for possibly next year’s free agents like Machado and Harper, both 25?

Turns out the Buster Posey rule against blocking home plate only applies to catchers. Who knew? Maybe Mychal Givens, and all Didi Gregorius got was an out and a bloody mouth.

Pottymouth keeps her lead in the Boyfriend Fantasy League as Patti moves into second p...

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#25 - Home Runs and Grand Slams and Steals, Oh My! (Apr 2nd, 2018)

The Season has begun and we are so freakin' excited! Pottymouth takes an early lead in the Boyfriend Fantasy League but there's a long way to go yet, so stay tuned.

Opening Day highlights include great performances by Denard Span, Anthony Rizzo, Justin Verlander, Yadi Molina, Scooter Gennett, Max Scherzer, and George Springer.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

Pillar: https://www.mlb.com/news/blue-jays-k...

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#24 - Special Guest: Mako Oliveras (Mar 27th, 2018)

In our last episode before the season, Patti and Pottymouth spend some time with Max “Mako” Oliveras.

Oliveras has a 50-year history in baseball as a player, coach, and manager. He has worked with teams in Puerto Rico, Mexico, and MLB. He shares stories of the early days of Alex Cora, Dave Martinez, and Daniel Murphy.

Also this week: Patti & Pottymouth name their 1st String Boyfriend League players.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League...

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#23 - MLB Panties (Mar 19th, 2018)

 

Spring training is nearly over and we're still talking about new deals? Whaaa? Jake Arrieta signs a 3yr $75m deal with the Phillies and Jose Altuve signs a 5-yr extension worth $151m, the most in Astros history, while Bautista, Aviles, Cobb and so many others remain unsigned.

We're still excited about Shohei Ohtani but he's not having a great Spring Training...leading Patti to speculate that he may not be on the opening day roster. That's a story we'll be following!

Also this week: Patti &a...

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#22 - Battle of the Cy Youngs (Mar 12th, 2018)

Youth and age in Major League Baseball: 24-yr-old Paul DeJong gets a record deal with the St. Louis Cardinals, but 29-yr-old Mike Moustakas heads back to the Royals for less than half the qualifying offer he turned down last November. Why can't players 30 and over get multi-year deals?

Could there be a feud brewing in Los Angeles? Seems the Dodgers are a little bitter over Ohtani's decision to join the Angels. 

Also this week: Patti & Pottymouth pick their Boyfriend League pitchers. Patti...

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#21 – Juiced Balls Flying! (Mar 5th, 2018)

Shohei Ohtani warms up with the Angels but the Dodgers get the hot tub flu, all in this week's episode!

Patti brings more science to the field in her ongoing study of everything that makes baseballs fly and learns that last year's balls were, indeed, different. Could that explain the record number of home runs? Listen to find out!

Boyfriends this week (the last week of boyfriends!) are Yonder Alonso and Francisco Lindor of the Cleveland Lindors, er, Indians, and Kiké Hernandez and Logan Forsy...

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#20 – Watchin' The Crotch Cam (Feb 27th, 2018)

We're watching baseball again! Yay for Spring Training! Patti & Pottymouth get a little teary-eyed talking about MLB teams' reactions to the horror at Stoneman Douglas High School but bounce back to wonder what's to become of Jake Arrieta, how humidors could change home runs, and the new pace-of-play rules.

Boyfriends this week are adorable Jose Altuve and Sir George Chelston Springer III of the Houston Astros, and base thief Trea Turner and under-the-radar Anthony Rendon of the Washingto...

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